Oct. 24 It's the Law... Beware of Amorous Moustached Men
Men with moustaches, beware! You may be breaking the law. A law passed in Kentucky and Indiana is going to make life a little difficult for affectionate men with hair above their lips.
Pat Shoulders is an attorney at law, he's the father of two, a devoted husband, and a man with a moustache. So it surprised him to know of a little known law which states, "Mustaches are illegal if the bearer has a tendency to habitually kiss other humans."
"The Hall of Presidents going all the way back, a lot of them have had beards and facial hair, so I have to believe it was in the transmission of disease area. I think this is going to affect my love life", says Shoulders.
And it's one law he plans to protest. "I want us all to band together and kiss anyone we can find, in fact we ought to declare an official kissing day in which all men with a mustache have a pass."
Shoulders has no plans of shaving his beloved trademark. "Absolutely not, I'll go all the way to the supreme court." And no plans of stopping his smooches. "We got Christmas season coming up, mistletoe, there are a lot of opportunities."
And he has a message for anyone who thinks they might have a case against him. "Call me first and we'll settle out of court."
Shoulders says this is a discrimination against moustached men and he plans to kiss as many people as possible to fight it. "Can I kiss you?", Shoulders says to a fellow attorney.
The attorney says, "No, that's okay". Shoulders says, "See, he knows that's a violation of the law. I have to demonstrate that I'm not afraid to violate this law.
Can I kiss you, Steve?" Steve says, "No!"
Shoulders says, "Jen, I need to violate this law. This might violate this firm's sexual harassment policy", as he kisses the secretary. "There, a violation of the law."